Backstage Pass


Below is a list of pickup terms and acronyms.

Some were coined by the Dating Rockstars community, some are a tribute to the players who came before us, and others are common words that have been appropriated by pickup artists.

Wherever possible, the person credited with coining the term has been cited.

These terms are provided for informational purposes only. Not all terms are actively used in the Dating Rockstars community.

Without further ado, here are your terms:

AFC – noun [average frustrated chump]: a stereotypical nice guy who has no pickup skills or understanding of what attracts women; a man who tends to engage in supplicative and wimpy patterns of behavior around women he has not yet slept with. Origin: Ross Jeffries.

AMOG – 1. noun [alpha male of the group or alpha male other guy]: a socially comfortable male who competes with a pickup artist for a woman or interferes with a pickup artist’s game. Origin: 01d_Dog. 2. verb: to remove a potential male competitor-through physical, verbal, or psychological tactics-from a group of women. Also: out alpha. Origin: Tyler Durden.

ANCHOR – 1. noun: an external stimulus (a sight, sound, or touch) that triggers a specific emotional or behavioral response, such as a song that makes one happy because it’s reminiscent of a positive life event. Anchors are used by pickup artists to associate themselves with a woman’s feelings of attraction. 2. verb: the act of creating an association between an external stimulus and an emotional or behavioral response. Origin: Richard Bandler and John Grinder.

ASD – noun [anti-slut defense]: the maneuvers some women make to avoid taking responsibility for initiating or agreeing to sex; or in order to avoid appearing slutty to the man she is with, to her friends, to society, or to herself. This can occur before or after sex, or it can prevent sex from occurring. Origin: Yaritai.

BACKPACK – noun: unprocessed emotional issues, stressors, pain, and difficulties we’ve experienced that continue to effect our actions, beliefs and emotional wellbeing. Also: emotional baggage Origin: Rockstar.

BAND PRACTICE – noun or verb: A meeting, for example, weekly Q&A meetings, for Backstage Pass members. Origin: Rockstar.

BF – noun [boyfriend].

BF DESTROYER- noun [boyfriend destroyer]: a pattern, routine, or line a pickup artist uses with the intention of seducing a woman who has a boyfriend.

BITCH SHIELD – noun: a woman’s defensive response to deter unknown men who approach her. Though her reaction to an opening line may be rude, this does not necessarily mean the woman herself is rude, or even impossible to engage in a conversation.

BLUR – verb or adjective: an occurrence in which a woman stops returning calls, although she was initially interested in the man phoning.

BODY COUNT – noun: The number of people that someone has slept with. Origin: Magneto

BUYING TEMPERATURE – noun: the degree to which a woman is ready to make intimate physical contact with a man. Unlike attraction, a high buying temperature generally appears and fades quickly. To maintain a woman’s level of physical interest over a longer period of time, a pickup artist attempts to pump her buying temperature with fast-paced routines. Origin: Tyler Durden.

CALIBRATE – verb: to read the verbal and nonverbal responses of a person or group and accurately deduce what they are thinking or feeling at that moment. Origin: Richard Bandler and John Grinder.

CAVEMAN – verb: to directly and aggressively escalate physical contact, and progress toward sex, with a consenting woman; predicated on the idea that early human beings did not use intelligence and words but instinct and strength to mate. Also: to go caveman.

CHICK CRACK – noun: any spiritual or psychological subject that appeals to most women but does not interest
most men, such as astrology, tarot cards, and personality tests. Origin: Tyler Durden.

CLOSE – verb: To ask someone out or get a romantic prospect to commit to a date. Origin: Rockstar.

COCKBLOCK – noun and verb: a person who interferes with or hinders a pickup artist’s game, whether accidentally or on purpose. A cockblock can be a friend of the woman, a friend of the pickup artist, or a complete stranger.

CONTRACT – verb: To emanate negative energy or to be in a bad mood. Origin: Rockstar.

CRASH AND BURN – verb: to be directly, and often rudely, rejected or turned away by a woman or group one
has just approached.

DAY TWO – noun: a first date. Also: second meeting.

DHV – noun or verb [demonstration of higher value]: a routine in which the pickup artist displays a skill or attribute that raises his worth or appeal in the estimation of a woman or group; it is intended to make him stand out from the other, less interesting men in the club. Antonym: DLV [demonstration of lower value].

DOGGY DINNER BOWL LOOK- noun: the entranced expression a woman gets in her eyes when she is attracted to a man who is talking to her. Also: DDB. Origin: Ross Jeffries.

ELICIT VALUES – verb phrase: to draw out, through conversation, what is important to a person, usually with the intention of reaching a deep inner desire that motivates them. In terms of seduction, eliciting values may help a man determine that a woman who says she is looking for a rich husband is actually just looking for a feeling of safety and security. Also: EV. Origin: Richard Bandler and John Grinder.

EXPAND – verb: To emanate positive energy or to be in a good mood. Origin: Rockstar.

EXTRA – adj: Someone who is high maintenance, demanding, or excessive in their behavior or actions. Someone described as “extra” may go above and beyond what is necessary or expected in a situation, often in an effort to draw attention to themselves or impress others. This includes making excessive demands, requiring constant attention or affirmation, or creating unnecessary drama. Being “extra” may also involve trying too hard to fit in or be accepted by others, often at the expense of their own identity or authenticity.



FAN – noun: a male or female friend. Origin: Rockstar.

FAN BASE – noun: A group of friends, who can be male and/or female. Origin: Rockstar.

FB – noun [fuck buddy]: a woman with whom a man engages in casual, consensual sex without an emotional attachment or relationship expectations. Also: friend with benefits

FIELD – noun: any public place where a pickup artist can meet women.

FIELD REPORT – noun: a written or video account of a pickup or a night out picking up women, usually posted online. Also: FR. Other types of reports include an OR (outing report), LR (lay report), FU (fuckup report), and TR (threesome report).

FIELD TEST – verb: to experiment with and perfect a pickup tactic or routine on a number of women in different social situations before sharing it with other pickup artists.

FLAKE – verb: an occurrence in which a woman cancels or does not show up to a planned meeting.

FLUFF – verb: to make mundane small talk, typically between two people who have just met; common subjects
include where one lives, what one does for work, and general interests and hobbies.

FMAC – noun [find, meet, attract, close]: a rudimentary, sequential model of pickup. Origin: Mystery

FRAME – noun: the context within which a person, thing, event, or environment is perceived. Origin: Richard Bandler and John Grinder.

FULL – adjective: Ready to have an amazing conversation anytime, anywhere. Origin: Les Brown.

FULL-CLOSE – 1. verb: to have sexual intercourse. 2.noun: sexual intercourse. Origin: Mystery

GET PAID – verb: to experience a sharp increase in peace, happiness, or love as a result of practicing Off Time. Origin: Rockstar.

GHOSTING – verb: the act of suddenly and without explanation withdrawing all communication with someone personally or romantically. This can include not responding to messages or calls, avoiding the person in public or online spaces, and cutting off all contact without any explanation or closure.

GIG – noun: a romantic appointment or engagement; a date. Origin: Rockstar.

GROUP THEORY – noun: the idea that women are usually accompanied by friends, and to meet her a man must simultaneously win the approval of her friends while actively demonstrating a lack of interest in her. Origin: Mystery.

GROUPIE – noun: a woman, usually a friend, used in social situations to help one meet other women. A groupie serves many functions: she provides social proof, she can create jealousy in the target, she can make it easier to open difficult sets, and she can brag about the pickup artist to his target. Also: Pivot, Wing-Woman.

HATER – noun: a person who greatly dislikes or criticizes a specific person or thing, often without legitimate reason or cause. A hater may express their dislike through negative comments, criticism, or even active attempts to harm or undermine who or what they dislike.

HB – noun [hot babe]: a term used by members of the seduction community to refer to attractive women. When discussing a specific woman, it is often followed by either a numerical ranking of her beauty-such as HB10 – or by a nickname, such as HBRedhead. Origin: Aardvark.

HIRED GUNS – noun: a female who is hired to perform groupie duties.

HOOK POINT – noun: the moment in a pickup when a woman (or a group) decides that she enjoys the company of a man who has recently approached her and doesn’t want him to leave. Origin: Style.

INSTANT DATE – noun: the act of taking a woman one has just met from one venue to another in the same day,
typically, from a bustling environment to one more conducive to getting to know each other, such as from a bar to a diner or from the street to a cafe. Also: immediate date. Origin: Mystery.

INTERVIEW – noun or verb: The act of talking to or picking up a woman. Also: Sarge. Origin: Rockstar.

IOI – noun [indicator of interest]: a sign a woman gives a man that indirectly reveals she is attracted to or interested in him. These clues, generally unintentional and subtle, include leaning toward a man when he speaks, asking mundane questions to keep a conversation going, or squeezing his hand when he takes her hand in his. Antonym: IOD [Indicator of Disinterest]. Origin: Mystery.

ITS – noun [intuitive target selection]: the action or fact of carefully choosing a target to sarge based on intuitive guidance.

IVD – noun [interactive value demonstration]: a short routine intended to hook the attention and interest of a woman one has just met by teaching her something about herself. Origin: Style.

KINO – verb [from kinesthesia, noun]: to touch or be touched, generally with suggestive intent or the purpose of arousal, such as hair-stroking, handholding, or hip-grabbing; precedes actual sexual contact. Origin: Ross Jeffries.

KISS-CLOSE – 1. verb: to kiss or make out, with passion. 2. noun: a passionate kiss or make-out. Also: k-close
or close. Origin: Mystery.

LJBF – verb or adjective [let’s just be friends]: a statement a woman makes to a man to indicate that she is
not sexually or romantically interested in him. One can hear an LJBF speech or get LJBF’ed.

LSE – adjective [low self-esteem]: used to describe a woman who is insecure and tends to engage in self-effacing or self-destructive behavior. Origin: MrSex4uNYC.

LTR – noun [long-term relationship]: a girlfriend.

LYRIC(S) – noun: Different topics of conversation that increases romantic attraction or creates an emotional connection. Origin: Rockstar.

MANAGE EXPECTATIONS – verb: to let a woman know before sleeping with her roughly how committed a relationship one intends to have with her, so that she does not expect too much or too little.

MLTR – noun [multiple long-term relationship]: a woman who is part of a harem, or one of many girlfriends a pickup artist is currently seeing and sleeping with. Ideally, the pickup artist is honest with his MLTRs and informs them that he is seeing other women. Also: polyamory. Origin: Svengali.

MM – noun [Mystery Method]: a school of seduction started by Mystery that focuses on indirect group approaches. Origin: Mystery.

MODEL – verb: to observe and imitate the behavior of another person, typically someone who possesses a trait or skill one wishes to acquire. Origin: Richard Bandler and John Grinder.

MPB – noun [male pattern blindness]: some men’s inability to recognize that a woman is attracted to and
interested in him until after she leaves and it’s too late to act on it. Origin: Vincent.

MPUA – noun [master pickup artist]: a player who excels at the game, and whose skills put him in the top 1% of the seduction community.

NEG – noun: an ambiguous statement or seemingly accidental insult delivered to a beautiful woman a pickup artist has just met, with the intent of actively demonstrating to her (or her friends) a lack of interest in her. For example: “Those are nice nails; are they real?” 2. Verb: to actively demonstrate a lack of interest in a beautiful woman by making an ambiguous statement, insulting her in a way that appears accidental, or offering constructive criticism. Also: neg bit. Origin: Mystery.

NEWBIE MISSION – noun: an exercise designed to help shy men overcome their fear of approaching women. The newbie mission involves spending a day in a public area, such as a mall, and saying “hi” to every woman who passes by.

NLP – noun [neuro-linguistic programming]: a school of hypnosis developed in the 1970s based largely on the
techniques of Milton Erickson. Unlike traditional hypnosis, in which subjects are put to sleep, it is a form of waking hypnosis in which subtle conversational cues and physical gestures are used to influence a person on a subconscious level. Origin: Richard Bandler and John Grinder.

NONVERSATION – noun: a conversation in which one person isn’t paying attention to what the other person is
saying, generally due to lack of interest or being distracted. Origin: Style.

NUMBER-CLOSE – 1. verb: to obtain a correct phone number from a woman. Note that giving a woman one’s own number does not constitute a number-close. 2. noun: a woman’s phone number, obtained during the course of a pickup. Also: #close. Origin: Mystery.

OBSTACLE – noun: the person or people in a group whom the pickup artist does not desire, but whom he must win over in order to run game on the woman in the group he does desire. Origin: Mystery.

OCC – noun: to Open, have a Conversation, and Close. Origin: Rockstar.

OFF TIME – noun: the act of focusing one’s awareness on the present moment. Origin: Rockstar.

ONE-ITIS – noun – 1. an obsession with a girl whom one is not dating; pickup artists believe that such an extreme fixation on one woman significantly lowers a man’s chances of dating or sleeping with her. 2. a girl with whom one is obsessed. Origin: John C. Ryan.

OPENER – noun: a statement, question, or story used to initiate a conversation with a stranger or group of strangers. Openers may be environmental (spontaneous) or canned (pre-scripted); and direct (showing romantic or sexual interest in a woman) or indirect (not showing interest).

OPEN SET – verb: To start a conversation. Also: Sarge or open. Origin: Rockstar.

OUTALPHA – verb; see AMOG.

PAIMAI – noun [pre-approach invitation, male approach invitation]: a nonverbal action or series of actions meant to induce a woman or group to notice a man and passively express interest in meeting him before he actually approaches her. Origin: Formhandle.

PATTERN – noun: a speech, usually scripted, that is based on a series of neuro-linguistic programming phrases
designed to attract or arouse a woman.

PATTERN INTERRUPT – noun: an unexpected word, phrase, or action performed suddenly in order to halt a person’s auto-pilot response before it’s completed, such as cutting off a woman who’s talking about her ex-boyfriend and quickly changing the subject. Origin: Richard Bandler and John Grinder.

PAWN – 1. verb: to approach and talk to one group of people in order to meet a woman or group adjacent to it. 2. noun: a person one approaches in order to meet a nearby woman or group. A pawn can be an acquaintance or stranger. Origin: Mystery.

PEACOCK – verb: to dress in loud clothing or with flashy accoutrements in order to get attention from women. Peacocking items include bright shiny shirts, light-up jewelry, feather boas, colorful cowboy hats, or anything else that makes one stand out in a crowd. Origin: Mystery.

PHASE-SHIFT – 1. verb: to make the transition, during a one-on-one conversation with a woman, from ordinary calk to slower, sexually-charged talk, touch, or body language; intended to precede an attempt to kiss. 2. verb: to transition to intimacy. Origin: Mystery.

PIVOT – noun: a woman, usually a friend, used in social situations to help one meet other women. A pivot serves many functions: she provides social proof, she can create jealousy in the target, she can make it easier to open difficult sets, and she can brag about the pickup artist to his target. Also: wing-woman.

PLACEHOLDER – noun: A temporary boyfriend for a woman, until she can find a more permanent replacement. Origin: Rockstar.

PROXIMITY ALERT SYSTEM – noun: the state of being aware of a woman or group of women who are standing awkwardly nearby in hopes of being talked to. Generally, the woman will have her back to the pickup artist, so as to make her presence there seem accidental. Origin: Mystery.

PUSH-PULL – noun: a technique used to create or increase attraction, in which a man gives a woman indication that he is not interested in her followed by indications that he is. This sequence can take place in a few seconds-such as taking a woman’s hands and then dropping them as if you don’t trust her yet-or over time, such as
being very nice during one phone conversation but then very distant and abrupt during the next one. Origin: Style.

RECORD LABEL – noun: Rockstar Media, the company that owns Dating Rockstars. Origin: Rockstar.

RECORD LABEL EXECUTIVE – noun [Label Exec or Exec]: an owner of Rockstar Media. Origin: Rockstar.

RECORD SALES – noun: points earned by Backstage Pass members for community participation. Record Sales are a status symbol in the Dating Rockstars community. Origin: Rockstar.

RAFC – noun [reformed average frustrated chump]: a seduction student who has not yet become a pickup artist or mastered the skills offered by the community.

REFRAME – verb: to alter the context through which someone sees an idea or situation; to change the meaning a person attributes to an idea or situation. Origin: Richard Bandler and John Grinder.

REHEARSE/REHEARSAL – verb: to practice or study topics related to dating or seduction. Origin: Rockstar.

ROUTINE – noun: a story, scripted conversation, demonstration of skill, or other piece of prepared material
intended to initiate, maintain, or advance an interaction with a woman or her group. Examples include the best friends test, the evolution phase-shift, and the ESP value-demonstration.

RT – noun [Release Technique]: a technique that allows a person to naturally let go of any painful or unwanted feeling in the moment.

SARGE – 1. verb: to pick up women, or to go out to try and meet women. 2. noun: a woman who has been picked up. Origin: Aardvark.

SARGER – noun: a person who picks up women; a member of the pickup community.

SECOND MEETING- noun: a first date. Also: day two.

SET – noun: a group of people in a social setting. A two-set is a group of two people; a three-set is three people, and so on. Sets may contain women, men, or both (in which case they may be referred to as mixed sets). Origin: Mystery.

SETLIST – noun: a date and seduction plan Dating Rockstars execute during a date, or gig. Origin: Rockstar.

SHB – noun [super-hot babe]: an extremely attractive woman.

SHIT TEST – noun: a question, demand, or seemingly hostile comment made by a woman intended to gauge whether a man is strong enough to be a worthy boyfriend or sexual partner. If he takes the question, demand, or
comment at face value, he fails and generally loses the opportunity to move forward in his interaction with her.
Examples include telling him he is too young or old for her, or asking him to perform an unnecessary favor.

SHOTGUN NEG – noun: a type of neg used in a group situation with a woman, intended to amuse the group at her expense. Origin: Mystery.

SNIPER NEG – noun: A type of neg used to embarrass a woman while talking one-on-one with her. Origin: Mystery.

SOI – noun [statement of intent or show of interest]: a direct comment intended to let a woman know that one is
attracted to or impressed with her. Origin: Rio.

SS – noun [Speed Seduction]: an NLP-based school of pickup founded by Ross Jeffries in the 1980s. Origin: Ross Jeffries.

STAGE NAME – noun: A member’s nickname in the Dating Rockstars community Origin: Rockstar.

STALE – verb or adjective: an occurrence in which the phone number of a woman is no longer an effective means of making plans with her, usually because too much time has lapsed between interactions and the woman has lost interest; may also be used to describe a woman who has lost interest in a pickup artist.

STARTING LINEUP – noun: the top 5 friends with benefits; ranked in order from 1 to 5. Origin: Rockstar.

STRONG BENCH – noun: the top 5 reserve friends with benefits; ranked in order from 6 to 10. Origin: Rockstar

STYLEMOG – noun or verb: a subtle set of tactics, mannerisms, backhanded compliments, and responses used
to keep a pickup artist dominant in a group. Origin: Tyler Durden.

SUBCOMMUNICATION – noun: an impression, message, or effect created by a person’s mannerisms, dress, or general presence; an indirect, nonverbal form of communication generally perceived better by women than men. Origin: Tyler Durden.

SUPPLICATE – verb: to put oneself in a servile or inferior position in order to please a woman, such as buying her a drink or changing an opinion in order to agree with her.

SYNESTHESIA – noun: literally, an overlapping of the senses, such as smelling a color; in seduction, a name given to a type of waking hypnosis in which a woman is put into a heightened state of awareness and told to imagine pleasurable images and sensations growing in intensity. The goal is to arouse her through suggestive, metaphorical talk, sensations, and imagery. Also: hyperemperia.

TAKEAWAY – noun: a pickup technique in which a man who has approached a woman and is getting along with her leaves (for as little as a few seconds or as long as a couple hours) in order to demonstrate a lack of neediness and increase her attraction to him. Also: false takeaway.

TARGET – noun: the woman in a group whom the pickup artist desires and is running game on. Origin: Mystery.

THREE-SECOND RULE – noun: a guideline stating that a woman should be approached within three seconds of first seeing her. It is intended to prevent the man from thinking about the approach too much and getting nervous, as well as to keep him from creeping the woman out by staring at her for too long. Origin: Mystery.

TIME CONSTRAINT – noun: to tell a woman or a group of people that it is necessary to leave them soon. The purpose of a time constraint is to lessen a woman’s anxiety that a man she has just met will hang around her all night, or that she is expected to have sex with a man upon entering his house. Also: false time constraint. Origin: Style.

TIME DISTORTION – noun: originally a hypnosis term referring to a subject’s loss of awareness of how much time is passing, it also refers to the pickup technique of making a woman feel she has known a pickup artist longer than she really has. Examples of time distortion include taking a woman to several different places over the course of a night or having a woman imagine future events and adventures together. Also: future pacing or future events projection.

TRANCE WORDS – noun: the words a person emphasizes or repeats when speaking, indicating that they have a special meaning to the speaker. Once a pickup artist knows a woman’s trance words, he may use those words in conversation to make her feel a sense of understanding and connection with him. Origin: Richard Bandler and John Grinder.

TRIANGULAR GAZING – verb: a technique used directly before attempting to kiss a woman, in which, while making eye contact, a man takes several short, suggestive glances at her lips.

UNIVERSAL LAW – noun: In the entire Universe, the most important time is now. The most important thing to do is love. The most important person is the one in front of you.

WBAFC – noun [way-below average frustrated chump]: a man who is extremely unsuccessful with women, usually due to awkwardness, nervousness, and lack of experience.

WING – noun: a male friend, generally with some pickup knowledge, who assists one in meeting, attracting, or taking home a woman. A wing can help by keeping a woman’s friends occupied while the pickup artist talks to her, or by talking to the woman directly about the pickup artist’s positive traits. Also: Fan, Wingman.

WING-WOMAN – noun: a woman, usually a friend, used in social situations to help one meet other women. She serves many functions: she provides social proof, she can create jealousy in the target, she can make it easier to open difficult sets, and she can brag about the pickup artist to his target. Also: Groupie, Pivot.

WOOD – noun: useless; a waste of paper; generally used to describe a woman’s phone number when she gives it to a pickup artist freely but is unlikely to call him back when he phones.

YES-LADDER – noun: a persuasion technique in which a person is asked a series of basic questions designed to elicit positive answers, increasing the likelihood that the person will also respond in the affirmative to a final, open-ended question. For example: “Are you spontaneous? Are you adventurous? Would you like to play a game called the cube?”

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